Saturday, 27 July 2013


Meet MarkWood31.

Mark's a normal bloke who spent a lot of of Saturday 27th July 2013 defending himself from vicious attacks by a horde of feminists on Twitter. Why? Because of this:

During an exchange about sexism, somebody suggests he follows @EverydaySexism to get an idea about the kind of thing women deal with. So Mark has a quick look, and responds:

"There are some women who need a stiff cock up them in the 3 tweets I saw "

Now, this is obviously JUST A JOKE. It's banter! He's had a quick look at what a bunch of feminists are complaining about (constant sexual objectification, groping, street harassment, having their concerns dismissed as trivial) and has correctly worked out that the best way to respond to that is to make a joke about the feminists needing to be penetrated by a "thick cock".

It's a joke that works on numerous levels; first, it establishes that he, Mark Wood 31, has no need to take any of this pointless female whining seriously. It communicates instantly to a like-minded audience "Look, these people care about something that I've deemed silly and irrelevant."

Secondly, it's guaranteed to annoy the very people who are treating this trivial nonsense with such dreadful earnestness. Mark knows only too well that feminists have NO SENSE OF HUMOUR, so when he "ironically" sexually objectifies them for complaining about sexual objectification, he's not only making his friends laugh but outraging the feminists - which is what they deserve.

(Why do they deserve it?  Because they take things seriously that men like Mark don't want  taken seriously.  Why does he not want these things to be taken seriously? That's a question for another time.)

Thirdly, the joke has the words "stiff cock" in it. Stiff cocks are funny.

Okay, maybe they're not so funny if men have shown theirs to you without your consent, or done even worse things with them - but who cares? "Stiff cock up them" Ha!

So, Mark has made a funny joke about whining women needing to get fucked. What happens next is that Everyday Sexism retweets it, and what happens after that is that dozens of shrieking harpies and white knight manginas swarm down on poor Mark telling him he's a sexist pig.

And Mark, to his credit as a man, stands his ground - tirelessly explaining for hours and hours that it was "just a joke", and recommending that the feminists "lighten up", like that'll EVER HAPPEN AMIRITE?

But during this entirely predictable and dull exchange of opposing views ("You're a sexist pig" / "I'm not, I'm just JOKING about being a sexist pig"), something interesting happens:

It's revealed that Mark Wood has a daughter. She's only 3 right now, but Mark assures us that she "will grow up to know sex is a healthy part of a loving relationship." Which proves that Mark is a good father and by extension a good man.

And since Mark has brought his daughter into the conversation, he won't mind me thinking about her in a bit more detail. And I invite you, dear reader, to do the same. 

Let's think about Mark Wood's daughter.

Let's imagine ourselves 13 years into the future, when his daughter is 16 and oh! - coincidentally, she's now legally able to consent to sex. And if you're reading this, Mark, you may wonder where it's going.

Relax. It's just a little thought experiment. Just words. Banter!

Let's imagine what Mark Wood's 16-year old daughter experiences in the world of 2026.

If it's anything like the world now, when Mark Wood's daughter leaves the house, she'll be experiencing the kind of things reported by these women:

And if any of that annoys her or frightens her - which even Mark must agree, it might - and she dares to complain about it online, guess what?
A man with a 3-year old daughter of his own will say: 

"Relax love, you just need a stiff cock up you!
What?! It's JUST A JOKE!!!"


'Ard man said...

I mean come on, it's not like any of this causes any harm, right?
What? This kind of behaviour promotes rape? Nah, you're just too serious, try using the stick up your arse to masturbate too.

On a serious note, reading those tweets is horrifying. I had no idea people like that actually existed. Is it simply because I don't go outside enough or do I live in a fairly pleasant area I wonder.

Mike Booth said...

If you're male, it's probably because men don't generally harass other men in the street unless they really want a fight.

If you're female - just lucky I guess.

Jordan Rutledge said...

I dont condone calling out at random women with lewd comments, but I guess I just dont understand why this is being called sexism? It has nothing to do with misogyny from where I'm standing. This seems like the effects of living in urban society where you are in contact every day with millions of people who have no need to respect you (because they dont expect to ever see you again). It's like the way people trample each other for black friday, or how we drive on freeways with an "every-man-for-himself" attitude.

I don't harass girls and I tell others to stop, but I guess I'm just wondering what there is to be gained by calling this sexism and making it about "respecting women". These people respect women as much as they are capable of respecting anything, you see, there is nothing about women that they need to hear so they'll all the sudden start treating women they way they want to be treated.

I can't help but feel that puritanical feelings of disgust over open sexuality get mixed in with reasonable outrage at the disrespect people show in modern society in general.